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Dedicated To “Holistic”  Divorce

Josette Belvedere, J.D.

Josette Belvedere, J.D.

“Holistic Divorce” A Term Coined By Chicago Attorney, Josette Belvedere,  To Refer To An Approach To Divorce Which Seeks To:

(1) Preserve Friendship & Family Even Where Divorce Is Unavoidable

(2) Promote  Healing & Well Being For  All Parties Involved (Adults As Well As Children)

(3) Encourage Accountability, Forgiveness & Resolution,

(4) Foster In Depth Global Problem Solving Of Divorce Related Issues

“Holism”:  Comes from the Greek word “holos” meaning total, entire, all. Applied to various disciplines (science, philosophy, etc.), the term encompasses a view that a given system can not be determined or explained by the sum of its component parts alone.  In health/wellness, the term is used to signify an approach which takes into consideration balance & harmony within the entire body rather than simply addressing various conditions in an isolated way.[/box]

Side effects other than those listed here may also occur. http://www.devensec.com/news/Devens_Shuttle_Map_and_Schedule_Draft_UPDATED_4_7_17_2.pdf best prices on viagra from uk viagra Adaptation to the sexual changes relate to aging. Though there are natural ways to stop premature ejaculation, it sildenafil generico viagra is still best to opt for the trusted brands of many Americans. They are also taught how to prepare food: cooked food is indicated by buying sildenafil boiling or baking. “Holistic Divorce: A common myth about divorce is that it ends relationships.   This may be true in short lived, childless marriages with no overlapping friendships or extended families, where both spouses are still young enough to create new lives for themselves.  It is not true for long term marriages where parties are older and share children, lifelong friendships and extended families.  In this latter case, it is more accurate to view divorce as merely a phase within the relationship — like getting engaged or starting a family.  It is important, than, to address the needs of a divorcing family in their entirety  so that the family will still be able to function efficiently after this phase has passed.

Given this fact, it is surprising our divorce & family law system pays so little attention to underlying relationships between divorcing parties.  In our “no fault” divorce environment, fault is largely irrelevant.  Accountability, forgiveness and closure are neither addressed nor encouraged. Adults are expected to “suck it up” and “get on with life.”  The legal machine is interested mainly in dividing marital property, pinning down child custody and severing the bonds of matrimony.  Such an approach is akin to flinging a cancer patient up on an operating table, excising their tumor and then tossing them out of the hospital (open wounds bleeding) — without addressing causes of their condition, follow up care or lifestyle changes which might benefit the patient &/or decrease their chances of relapse.

During divorce, courts often claim to be concerned with “the best interests” of the children.  Little attention is paid to the plight of adult parties. Lies, cruelty, abuse, abandonment, adultery & betrayal:  All these are irrelevant in today’s “no fault” environment.  And yet, it is obvious that if a child’s parents are left compromised and their relationship destroyed, that child stands alone and his or her best interests are not truly being served.  For the sake of the children, then, if for no other reason, the circumstances of the adults must be considered.

Many marital relationships have spanned a lifetime.  Can such relationships be abruptly severed without negative consequences?  Perhaps in some few cases.  In most cases, however, it is dangerous to suggest that someone’s entire life has been a “mistake.”  Better to try and work thru issues so that parties can view divorce, where unavoidable, as an evolutionary rather than a revolutionary process in their relationship.

Conventional divorce is much like conventional medicine in that it seeks to address an acute problem in a focused manner rather than exploring the myriad, complex causes of such problem or discover solutions which take into account the entire organism.  Judges, lawyers, mediators and others who work within our family law system are oriented towards solving issues related to marital property distribution, child custody arrangements and then severing the bonds of matrimony.  Often times they have been specifically trained to ignore the damaged relationship between divorcing parties.  Yet the future of divorcing spouses as well as their children is intimately tied to such relationships.

In contrast, an “holistic divorce” approach presumes that family & relationship ties create a whole which is greater than the sum of its parts.  Global, rather than disjointed, fragmentary, problem solving is emphasized.  Efforts are made to unearth the “truth” of the situation just as is done in other legal cases (commercial/contract cases, tort/personal injury cases, criminal matters). Is divorce any less important than these other areas of law?

Contact Us:  Josette Belvedere Law Offices of Josette Belvedere

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